Almost Italian

You’re making your list, you’re checking it twice, and still you’ll forget the Arborio rice…

The salt cod soaks in the pantry with care in hopes that your relatives soon will be there… If this is what’s running though your brain, the baccalà fumes may have gone to your head. It’s time to take a break from the kitchen.

Hey Dino! Secondo! Vinnie and Sebbi! Where’s Tony—and Guido? Where’s Rocco? Where’s Beppe?

If we haven’t spared the reindeer, you might imagine that nothing here at AlmostItalian.com is wholly sacred. And you’d be correct. ‘Tis the season of song, verse, and parody.

So, with more than a little license in both spelling and accent, we present our Almost Italian Song of the Seven (or More) Fishes. As any Vegas performer will tell you, it’s all in the timing; the rest is easy. You know the tune… we’ll hum and provide the recipes.

13 Nonne Singing *

On the first day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
A big tray of An-ti-pas-ti

On the second day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Cherry Pepper Shooters
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the third day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
FIVE BAC—CA—LAAAA…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Tuna on Crostini,
FIVE BACCALÀ…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Scampi con Linguine,
Tuna on Crostini,
FIVE BACCALÀ…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Mussels Posillipo,
Scampi con Linguine,
Tuna on Crostini,
FIVE BACCALÀ…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Lobster Fra Diavolo,
Mussels Posillipo,
Scampi con Linguine,
Tuna on Crostini,
FIVE BACCALÀ…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Octopus in brodo,
Lobster Fra Diavolo,
Mussels Posillipo,
Scampi con Linguine,
Tuna on Crostini,
FIVE BACCALÀ…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my nonna served to me…
Fried calamari,
Octopus in brodo,
Lobster Fra Diavolo,
Mussels Posillipo,
Scampi con Linguine,
Tuna on Crostini,
FIVE BACCALÀ…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my nonna forced on me…
Digestivi di Campari,
Fried calamari,
Octopus in brodo,
Lobster Fra Diavolo,
Mussels Posillipo,
Scampi con Linguine,
Tuna on Crostini,
FIVE BACCALÀ…
Clams Oreganata,
Eels and Scungilli,
(Yes,we eat them–really!)
Cherry Pepper Shooters,
And a big tray of Antipasti.

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